I have to admit, when my boyfriend of several years decided he needed a break from our relationship, just about all I could think of was “How do I get my ex boyfriend back now?”

I was as stressed out as any other woman would be in that situation, but when I really sat down to think about it, I saw there were basically three different answers to the old question of “How do I get my ex boyfriend back?” I’ve listed them all for you here.

Option #1: Go to him
If you’ve just broken up, this is probably the method your heart’s telling you—no, screaming for you—to use. You want to drive down to his house with French maid’s outfit and a bottle of massage oil and apologize, beg, and bat your eyelashes until he forgives you.

Unfortunately, next to actually running over his dog, this is probably the very best way to make sure the break up is final. It makes you look emotionally unstable and like someone who can’t really handle life on their own.

Sometimes those tearful, lovelorn pleas work on us gals, but they usually have the opposite effect on men, who aren’t as comfortable with open displays of emotion as we are. For this reason, even a little thing like sending a mushy love letter is just a bad idea. That’s why I decided this wasn’t the answer to the question of how do I get my ex boyfriend back.

Option #2: Let him come to you
No, I don’t mean sitting by the phone all night praying for him to call. I mean going about your life as if you’d never met Mr. what’s-his-name, only stopping to let any mutual friend of yours know that you’re still single and theoretically will to speak to your ex.

If you honestly think your guy will soon come to realize what a mistake it was to let you go (eg. he’s done this before), you’re probably safe with this route. Otherwise, though, it’s fairly risky.
You’re counting on the fact that he’s still thinking about you when in fact he could be off on Caribbean cruise thinking about anything but his ex girlfriend.

Option #3: Work through friends
Recruiting mutual friends to help in reuniting you and your guy is not only effective, it’s also a perfectly respectable, unlike the French maid outfit thing. The reason this works is because his friends will be able to frame your outpouring of longing in way your guy can relate to and, more importantly, that doesn’t freak him out.

The trick here is to choose one and only one of his friends to help you out. Don’t start calling everyone whose number you have in hopes of overwhelming him which attacks from all sides.
You’ll both dilute the effect and make yourself look desperate. Just pick one friend and ask if they’d been willing to convey a message to your ex. If they are, be as open an honest as you can be about what happened and how you’re feeling.

I can tell you, sitting home wondering “How do I get my ex boyfriend back?” won’t do you much good. Ultimately, you have the best chance of winning him back by enlisting a friend of his for help, but you still want to make sure you follow a proven plan designed by a professional relationship therapist. This article might help you get over my ex boyfriend problems.


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  1. I recently broke up with my boyfriend because his family and parents are over protective and not letting him date. He is graduating in a year and it’s been the last thing on my mind. So the problem is that he’s been drawing more attention to me and i think it’s unfair to my friends that he’s treating me special than them. I would consider some tips and help to get over this predicament.

    #1 Anne
  2. I borke up with my Ex about 7 months ago and we rekinddled a few times and to tell the truth, i though that would make us stronger but it didnt because i was scared to talk to him about what went wrong. I wanted to talk things thought to try and see what went wrong but he always closed up in this situation, so i left it and the longer i left it the more began to feel used. He later closed all ties with me and now i cant even got hold of him via email, phone or even thoguh his friends.

    I have to face up to the fact that he does not want a relationship, but i cant help thinking that “its not me, its other issues that he has, which make in unable to deal with a relationship” but i really dont know. I dont want to have a fling with anyone, and besides anyone i meet end up saying the same thing “you seem like your not interested” when its not that its just i always compare them to my Ex, and therefore cant really do it.

    help!!!!

    #2 Denise
  3. I have split up with my boyfiend 1 week ago!! we had been going out for a year. but one weekend we had a really big argument and we sat down and we talked that we would see how things went. Know for that week i thought we was getting on well. but he said out of the blue i dont love you anymore but i still have feelings for you. well i lived with him so all my clothes where still at his. i have been at home for a week and spoke to him every day which is making matters worse. i keep asking him to take me back but he says he doesnt want to hurt me because he doesnt think it wil work. i dont now what to do i just cry all the time please help!!!!

    #3 Georgina
  4. My boyfriend and i broke up about 3 days ago. I’m so hurt!!! I really love him…and he said he really loves me as well and he does wanna be with me. He wants to experience other relationships like i have. Hes only been with me for 4 years…The thing is i really want him back..hes my soul mate.what can i do to show him that im the one for him?? PLEASE HELP ME!!

    #4 Marrissa
  5. I broke up with my boyfriend because he used to talk to me any kind of way and he did not apprecite me at all. I did everything he asked of me and when I asked him to do something for me he would looked at me and laughed like do it yourself. I though that by breaking up with him that would make he want me more. But when I broke up with him that just made me fill wrost because he said he would not even miss me. Why do i keep running back to him.

    #5 Tiffany

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